April 18, 2020

Collaboration to prepare for marriage … and, maybe, divorce…


By Louise R. Zito, Founding Member of Divorce Solutions of CT (DSC)

Communication… preparation… marriage… collaboration…

When discussing Prenuptial Agreements, clients often ask:  Why do I need my own lawyer? Isn’t this starting the marriage from a place of distrust?

The answer is you can each have your own attorney and do it together by working Collaboratively.  In the Collaborative process, you each meet with your own attorney, then all come into the room together to negotiate based on what matters to each of you! Starting the process by sharing what is important helps us reach a resolution that works for and protects both of you.

When these conversations occur separately, there is often a lack of understanding as to why something is important to your partner.  Working Collaboratively, we ask questions to understand what is underneath a person’s desire allowing us to be more creative in generating options and reaching solutions.

Romantic, you say, how? Having a conversation with your fiancé to understand what matters to him or her is an intimate thing and can bring you closer together.

Couples often don’t discuss finances before the marriage, leading to chaos after the marriage.  This is an opportunity to have these discussions well in advance of your wedding so that you can celebrate your day free from worry, especially if you have children or parents or a business to protect.

Working Collaboratively, you:

  • Have trained, highly skilled professionals who
    • can help you have the conversation
    • help you understand what matters
    • make sure you have looked at all the issues
  • Have a written agreement that
    • Meets your needs
    • addresses the “what if’s”
  • Have a clear understanding of this agreement, before signing

If you are planning your wedding:

  • add Prenuptial to your list
  • contact me at for an appointment.
  • start this process as soon as possible.

Prenups help you:

  • Protect your inheritance
  • Protect your family business
  • Protect your children from a previous marriage

I work with trained Collaborative attorneys to bring you and your fiancé this service.

Read Stassi Schroeder’s article: “A Prenup can be a Romantic Experience”  This is an interesting account of her personal experience discussing the prenup with her fiancé.  My advice to her is, DO IT COLLABORATIVELY!

Louise R. Zito is a family law attorney and has been practicing since 1985.  She is a founding member of Divorce Solutions of Connecticut (DSC) and principal and founding member of the Connecticut Family Mediation Training Group (CFMTG).  She has a deep understanding of and appreciation for the team approach to resolving family matters having practiced Collaborative Divorce for many years.

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